Junior League of Santa Barbara

So the pageant is over, but my passion for shortening the Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) waitlist (which is currently over 100,000 children long!) is not. With pageant prep no longer consuming my every thought, I had a lot more free time to focus on other priorities; BBBS was at the top of my list. A few months prior the pageant I met a lovely lady who was involved in the Junior League (JL) who shared with me the wonderful things that the JL does for our community. I learned that each year their new member class, which I eventually became a member of, took on a year-long project that benefited the community; I crossed my fingers (and toes!) and hoped that the new member class would choose BBBS for our new member project. I am proud to report that we did in fact select Big Brothers Big Sisters (ran by Family Service Agency in Santa Barbara) and will spend the next year revitalizing part of their office and spreading awareness for the need for mentors in our county. The Santa Barbara county waitlist is 100 children long; That’s 100 children, 70 which are boys, who are not getting the positive adult influence that they desperately need and deserve!

I was honed to be selected as co-chair for the project and proud to be among this year’s 77 new Junior League of Santa Barbara members!

Below is an article about our project:

http://www.noozhawk.com/noozhawk/print/junior_league_of_santa_barbara_welcomes_2013-14_new_member_class_20131031

The Junior League of Santa Barbara’s 2013-14 New Member Class. (Junior League of Santa Barbara photo)

The Junior League of Santa Barbara is pleased to welcome 77 women into its 2013-14 New Member Class, the largest incoming class since its inception in 1924.

"We're thrilled to welcome an amazing group of women to the league this year," JLSB President Angela Bolea said. "These women come from varied backgrounds but are all committed to improving the Santa Barbara community. We're looking forward to a great year.”

Throughout the next several months, this group of new members will participate in leadership trainings to introduce them to the mission, projects and services JLSB provides to the community. They will also be working on their New Member Project, a project selected by the New Member Class that will give the most benefit to an organization in Santa Barbara that shares JLSB’s vision of improving the lives of youth and their families. This year, the new members voted to assist the Family Service Agency/Big Brothers Big Sisters of Santa Barbara.

“On behalf of the Family Service Agency, I would like to thank the Junior League of Santa Barbara's New Member Class of 2013 for choosing FSA as their youth literacy project,” said Christina Pizarro, FSA board member. “Revitalizing FSA's reception area and family therapy room will not only improve the aesthetics of the room but will help create a nurturing and child friendly environment that will brighten and enlighten the lives of so many local children we serve.”

FSA promotes literacy by providing at-risk children with early intervention strategies designed to maximize impact at their earliest stage of development. Research has shown that children who are nurtured and supported in their first years are more likely to thrive at school and succeed in the workplace.

The Junior League of Santa Barbara is thrilled to welcome this accomplished, dynamic and diverse group of new members to its organization, and we are excited to see what they will bring to the community this year.

For more information, call 805.963.2704, click here or follow the league on Facebook and Twitter @JuniorLeague_SB.

— Leslie Gallant represents the Communications Committee for the Junior League of Santa Barbara.

http://www.noozhawk.com/noozhawk/article/junior_league_of_santa_barbara_welcomes_2013-14_new_member_class_20131031

Miss International Final Competition

Dialogue with myself the morning of the Miss International Final Competition:

And here we are.

Tonight one girl’s life will change forever.

Could it possibly be me?

Did I stand out enough last night to make the ‘top 10’?

Holy cow…. I’m actually here!

The music starts, we line up in our bubblegum pink Sherri Hill rompers, we hear the cue and take the stage for the final night of competition… the night that Miss International 2013 would be crowned! As the song winds down we take our final pose and then the MC begins calling out the coveted top 10 contestants for both Teen and Miss International. After a couple other contestants are named I FINALLY hear it, “Miss California, Tiffany Allen!” The best part? As I walked to the front of the stage to thank the judges and pose for a picture I look down at the very front row, smack in the center, and see my beautiful family holding up bright pink sparkly letters that spell out “Miss CA” and sporting shirts with my picture that say “Miss California’s Biggest Fan”. My niece is smiling ear-to-ear and is holding up the universal sign language sign for “I love you”. I am the luckiest girl alive. After the remaining finalists are called we exited the stage and RAN (more like sprinted!) to the dressing rooms to prepare for the on-stage interview portion of the competition. I had emotions whirling as I stood in the dressing room in my interview suit, minus some of my new friends. I was overjoyed that I was a finalist, but my heart broke for my new friends and fellow contestants who were now sitting in the audience and were not back stage with me…. where they belonged! The greatest thing happened shortly after though, I started receiving text after text filled with well-wishes from them. They are the definition of class and true friends. I’ve won, with or without that crown.

I took the stage and shared a part of my past with the audience that use to cause me so much shame. I smiled as I walked off stage because I realized at that moment just how far I’ve come; a majority of my growth I owe to pageantry. I’ve won, with or without that crown.

After intermission was over the other contestants were finally able to join us back in the dressing room. I was overcome with gratitude when so many of them surrounded me, rooted for me, wished me well, helped me climb into and zip the dress for my next area of competition, and then helped fluff my hair, put my earrings in, and checked my makeup! Did I mention how wonderful the 2013 Miss International class is?! As I walked away from the dressing room to take the stage again in another area of competition without them, I fought back tears; I was in awe of their grace. Class acts for sure! I’ve won, with or without that crown.

All areas of competition were over and all of us took the stage for the very last time. Luckily my position on stage was directly in front of my family who were sitting in the front row, literally three feet from me. I hardly heard a word that the MCs were saying because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of my amazing family who told me again and again how proud they were, and my 5 year old niece who was still displaying her “I love you” sign. They began calling the runners up and my name was absent from the list. Miss Teen International was called and that left one last name to be said, that which I prayed would be mine for the entire last year. There was a long pause where the new Miss Teen International was crowned and sashed and I took that time to look down at my family one last time. There were six of us still holding our breath, praying that our name would be the next words out of the MC’s mouth. I looked at my older sister who stretched her arms out from side-to-side and mouthed “by a mile!” with a huge, very proud grin on her face. (Have I mentioned that I’ve won, with or without that crown??) And then the moment was here, the name was called, and that name unfortunately wasn’t mine. When I think of that moment I don’t do so with disappointment or sadness; I instead remember the look on my sister’s face with her outstretched arms and am overjoyed by how much she believed in me and my potential. So no, I didn’t win a crown, but I did come from the experience stronger, wiser, healthier, with amazing friends, awesome memories, and a reinforced belief that I have the greatest family in the world.

I won even though I didn’t walk away with the crown.

Prelims

All of my hard work, sweat (lots and lots of sweat!), prayers, preparation, and anticipation for the whole last year of my life led to this day. I had dreams, and nightmares alike, frequently about this very day and what it would feel like to stand on the Miss International stage on the first day of competition. There were some things that I expected, such as the fact that I would be standing among some of the most accomplished and beautiful women in the world on that stage, but other things were completely unexpected. I didn’t expect to have only been able to sleep 2-3 hours a night for the entire week. I didn’t expect to become so close to some of the girls I was competing with in such a small amount of time, some I know will be lifelong friends! I didn’t expect to walk off the stage that first night feeling like a million bucks, smiling as I drifted off for my three hours of sleep before I had to wake up to rehearse all day again and then (hopefully) take the stage a second time for the final competition.

Prior to taking the stage for the preliminary competition I arrived in the dressing rooms a tad before everyone else and then shortly after one other contestant arrived. Since it was just the two of us in the dressing room we got to chatting and she mentioned that she was only competing for fun and as a way to step outside of her comfort zone, and that she hoped that I would win. The first time I heard a fellow contestant make this very comment to me I was baffled, but shortly after I learned that there were numerous girls that I would share the stage with this weekend that didn’t believe that they were worthy or capable of winning. I was honored that she wanted me to win, but it hurt my heart so much to hear those words because I personally know what it feels like to be blessed to be given a title but feel like an imposter representing it. My first title was Miss Bakersfield 2007, and while I did work VERY hard to obtain the title I never truly felt worthy of it. I convinced myself that I just got ‘lucky’ and told myself that after I passed on the title I would put pageantry to rest. Who would have thought that 6 years later I would be holding a state title and then would make the ‘top 10’ at an international pageant?! Why I came back you ask? Well, pageantry has become an incredible source of healing for me. Every single time I step outside of my comfort zone and do something that frightens me (because of insecurities or fear of failure) I realized that I grow slightly more confident and comfortable in my skin. Because of the many speaking engagements, appearances, and events that I’ve taken part in over these last two and a half years as Miss Ventura County International and now as Miss California International, I am a stronger person and I’ve never (ever!) felt more sure of myself! Sure, the insecurities of my past peek out from time to time, but I can assure you that never do I turn down an opportunity to represent my title and platform because of it; I embrace the opportunities and never feel less than thrilled to face them head on.

I shared with my fellow competitor in the dressing room that day that I too didn’t always feel this confident and comfortable in my skin and urged her to at least play with the idea of feeling worthy of winning. I hope that pageantry eventually becomes as life changing for her as it has been for me. I can’t even fathom the thought of who, or where I’d be today had I not made the brave decision to give pageantry another try. My interview skills have significantly improved, I’ve made friends that feel more like sisters, public speaking has (almost!) become enjoyable, and most importantly pageantry has helped me to believe in myself; it truly has been life altering!

American Graduate Day in NYC!

Although the Miss International title wasn’t part of my story, a title equally as significant was; I am elated to have been asked to become a Big Brothers Big Sisters of America (BBBSA) celebrity ambassador. I was thrilled when the Director of Media Relations and Community Engagement for BBBSA asked me to represent the program in a national public media initiative titled American Graduate put on by WNET/PBS in New York City (for more info on American Graduate visit: http://americangraduate.org/). The telecast leverages the power and reach of public television to help communities across America address the high school dropout crisis by preparing students for success, beginning with a high school diploma. Big Brothers Big Sisters was one of approximately 20 community action programs featured in the program and I had the honor of representing the BBBSA segment along with NFL writer Anwar Richardson. 

To view the Big Brothers Big Sisters segment of the telecast please visit: http://www.bbbs.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=9iILI3NGKhK6F&b=6470175&ct=13344935&notoc=1

To view the full 7 hour telecast visit: http://americangraduate.org/grad-day.html

Big Brothers Big Sister’s write up on me prior to American Graduate Day: http://www.bbbs.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=9iILI3NGKhK6F&b=6470175&ct=13333605

This was by far the greatest and most profound appearance that I’ve made yet as Miss California International. I am so incredibly grateful to American Graduate for giving me the opportunity to share with America the challenging parts of my past and how those events coupled with my fifth grade teacher, my first and most significant mentor, changed my life and set me on a path to success. Statistics prove that youth facing adversity are likely to continue in the vicious cycle if intervention is not given; BBBSA provides children with hope and most importantly the life-altering positive influence that they urgently need. If you are interested in making a significant impact in a child’s life please visit www.BBBSA.org to find a Big Brothers Big Sisters office near you.

Since this was my first trip ever to New York City I decided to take advantage of the trip by extending it for two extra days and explored the city! I took the redeye over on Thursday night and arrived at 8:00 AM on Friday morning. Upon exiting the plane my driver was waiting with a sign that displayed my name (I’m such a nerd, I found this detail to be very exciting! Haha!) I checked into my room and then immediately headed out to track down a NYC slice of pizza (yes, it was only 9:00AM) and then after I skipped on down to Central Park; I’ve seen a lot of beautiful places in my life, but never have I experienced a place so dreamlike. I found a grassy area in the sun near a small bridge and took a seat. It’s rather astonishing that you can hear the birds chirp and leaves rustle in the center of the park; It was the only place that I found in NYC where I could escape the yellow taxi non-stop honking! Under the bridge by which I made my temporary escape from the noisy city was an elderly man who had the most beautiful acapella singing voice I’ve ever heard! Mixed with the acoustics of being under a bridge he sounded magical! I sat in that same sunny, heavenly place for over an hour listening to him sing! After a small nap in my hotel I researched restaurants nearby and enjoyed the evening at a little Irish pub. I met a couple girls who were seated next to me and we spent the evening swapping stories and enjoying the Irish accents of the wait staff that I suspect were fake. What a wonderful first day in NYC!

Saturday was the big event and then after I joined Deanna, Director of Media Relations and Community Engagement for BBBSA, Anwar, and HIS Big Brother Derek and family for a dinner at a fabulous restaurant (Derek and Anwar have been matched for 30 years through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program!)

Sunday was tremendous! I kicked it off with a meal at Ellen’s Stardust Diner where there were back-to-back live performances by the wait staff; they were amazing! If I didn’t have plans for the afternoon I could have spent hours listening to them sing. After brunch I was off to see my first ever Broadway show, Once. After all of the wonderful reviews that I read I had very high hopes, and let me tell you…the show exceeded them BY FAR! I was truly blown away by the performance and fell in love with the lovely cast! I wouldn’t mind seeing Once, more than once!! After the show I wandered around Times Square for a bit and was swept away by a cowboy, literally! (Pictures to follow) After a football game and dinner at a local pub I rushed off to see my second Broadway show, Mamma Mia! The show was lots of fun and was the perfect ending to a perfect day.

Monday I woke up bright and early and found myself standing in the standby line at the Live! with Kelly and Michael show with hopes of making into the studio audience to watch them film the live show. I met a wonderful mother/daughter in line who adopted me as their own for the morning and we anxiously waited across the way at Starbucks swapping stories until 8:45AM when we were finally given the good news that we made the cut….woo hoo!! Kelly and Michael were such a hoot and it was so neat getting to see Daniel Radcliff, Julianne Hough, and Jerry O’Connell!

After the show I jumped into a taxi and was off to the location where the twin towers once stood. When the taxi pulled up to an area that appeared to be a construction site with a winding line of at least 200 people to get inside I asked the driver if he knew what the people in that long line were waiting to see and his reply brought a tear to my eye. He said, “Miss, that is the line to get into the 9-11 memorial and it’s the longest I’ve ever seen it!” I’ve never been more proud to be an American. The fact that the terrorist attack took place 12 years ago, and the memorial has now been open for a full two years and people are still standing in lines among hundreds to get inside, was so heartwarming. We truly do live in the greatest county in the world! When I finally made it inside the walls of the memorial I was speechless; not only were there hundreds of people waiting outside to get in, there were also hundreds of people wandering within the memorial. I spent hours walking around the twin reflecting pools, each nearly an acre in size that now sit within the footprints where the Twin Towers once stood.  The names of every person who died in the 2001 and 1993 attacks are inscribed into bronze panels edging the Memorial pools, a powerful reminder of the largest loss of life resulting from a foreign attack on American soil and the greatest single loss of rescue personnel in American history. I was grateful to get the opportunity to listen to several people within the memorial share the stories of how their lives were impacted by the attack and what the memorial now means to them.

After visiting the memorial I walked across the street to a restaurant and made friends with a nearby customer. After chatting for a bit he learned that I had never taken a subway and insisted that I try it out before I leave NYC and offered to show me the ropes. What a thrill! I had such a great time on the subway that I almost wanted to go back and try it again!

Huge thank you to PBS, American Graduate, and Big Brothers Big Sisters for this remarkable experience!

I’m pretty certain that I am the luckiest girl alive!

Miss International, Day #4/ Interviews and Teen Prelims

This was by far one of the most nerve-racking days yet. The pageant interview tends to be equally as terrifying as it is exhilarating for me. I love being able to share the ‘real me’ in a face-to-face conversation with the five people who hold a portion of my destiny in their hands, but with that being said no matter how much you prepare there is always a smidge of unknown and the reality that you just might not be the person that they are looking for this year. All you can do is prepare to be the best possible version of yourself and hope that the title is part of God’s plan for your life.

I felt as ready as I possibly could have been walking into those interviews (well aside from the hair crisis that I found myself in that morning!) and was thrilled with the way that the interviews unfolded. Looking back on the experience I am confident that the job of Miss International just wasn’t supposed to be part of my story; I couldn’t have been more prepared. The truth is that all of us were there that weekend following the same dream of becoming Miss International 2013; obviously only one of would walk away from the experience with the large, oversize crown though. What I found to be most important thing that I took away from this experience was the knowledge that dreams change lives. The world is a much more beautiful place when you are motivated and striving to better yourself. I literally woke each morning, and went to sleep each night of the months leading up to the pageant with a smile plastered on my face! How lucky was I to get the opportunity to represent the beautiful state of California for an international title? I walked in believing that I was a winner, and today the same belief holds true; I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, a wise person of my past stressed to me that a crown and sash doesn’t bring worth to a person, it’s the person who wears them that bring value to the title, not the other way around. We all hopefully walked away better people from this tremendous experience! 

After interviews we rehearsed the show again, and that evening us Miss contestants got the opportunity to sit in the audience and cheer on our teen-queens as the took the stage for their preliminary competition. I might be a little biased, but my teen-queen, Jayne Giest, rocked the stage! 

Wednesday, Miss International Day #3 PRINCESS BALL!

We rehearsed all morning and afternoon of day #3, but that evening there would be no work, all play! We were invited to attend a very special princess ball at the Skokie Library! We each were assigned a little girl and through the process of completing very important tasks we would help them to become a princess. We decorated jewelry boxes with sparkling jewels, answered princess trivia, and went on a hunt to locate a pea; those who were able to locate a tiny pea in the big auditorium were SURELY a princess, as told in the fairytale “The Princess and the Pea”.

The story:

The story tells of a prince who wants to marry a princess but is having difficulty finding a suitable wife. The prince finds that something is always wrong with those he meets, and he cannot be certain they are real princesses. One stormy night a young woman drenched with rain seeks shelter in the prince's castle, and she claims to be a princess, so the prince's mother decides to test their unexpected guest by placing a pea in the bed she is offered for the night, covered by 20 mattresses and 20 featherbeds. In the morning the guest tells her hosts that she endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed; which she is certain has bruised her. The prince rejoices; only a real princess would have the sensitivity to feel a pea through such a quantity of bedding.

Why this is relevant? The story was told to all of the little girls in the room and then we were released to see if our partners were real-life princesses; surely if they were REAL princesses they too could locate a tiny pea in this large auditorium. As the host yelled, “ready, set, go find your peas, princesses!” my adorable partner who was 4 years old and was wearing a princess dress tugged on my arm with a very sad face and said, “Wait, I can’t do this…. I won’t be able to find the pea.” I told her, “Of course you can! What makes you think that you won’t be able to?” and she replied, “Because, I am not a princess.” My mind was set; I made it my mission to prove to this little beauty that she was in-fact a princess! I grabbed her hand and promised her that I would prove that she was a princess! Not only did we locate a pea, we were one of the VERY FIRST to locate one! The look on her face was priceless when I picked her up, swung her around, and cheerfully squealed, “I knew that you that you were a real life princess!” She spent the rest of the evening sashaying around as we completed the rest of our tasks and prior to leaving she hugged me and then thanked me for helping her to find her princess pea and said that before this day she had no idea that she was a real-life princess!

Sometimes it only takes ONE person believing in you to give you the confidence needed to believe in yourself. Mentors of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program provide children facing adversity with the boost that they need to believe in themselves….will you be that life-changing person for a child in your area? For more information please visit: www.BBBSA.org.

Exactly 1 year ago today, that crown was placed on my head

Exactly one year ago from today at this hour I was anxiously awaiting the moment that I would take the stage with hopes of making my dream of becoming Miss California International a reality. Months of hard work, sweat (literally), anticipation, tears, accomplishments, prayers, and polishing all led up to this day, to this opportunity, and to those 2 hours that us contestants would share the stage;  only one of us would walk away with a crown and an opportunity to continue on the journey to becoming Miss International, but all of us would walk away with new friends, more confidence, better public speaking and interview skills, and memories that will last a lifetime. 

My walking away with that crown was nothing short of a gift from God and the beginning of a journey that I'm still so lucky to be on. The Teen and Miss California Int'l pageant directorship is switching hands this year and as a result the pageant was moved to February of 2014. This girl gets to spend a year and a half as Miss California! 

I still wake up everyday with a need to pinch myself to prove that this dream that I'm living is reality. I may not have won that large, over sized crown at the International pageant, but that doesn't one bit discount the amazing work that I've been able to do, and will continue to do as Miss California. So many doors have opened this year for me, particularly with Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. I'm proud to report that I am officially a Big Brother's Big Sisters of America celebrity ambassador! 

I hope that I've made California proud this year so far, and I plan to spend the remaining 5 months of my reign working just as hard! 

Day 2, part 2. Group photo and dinner

The evening of night two was reserved for a group photo followed by dinner and the "you don't know my life" speech by none other than the ridiculously positive and motivating Eddie Peterson (previously the Teen, Miss, and Mrs California Int'l director, and after a one-year break he has come back as the director of the Mrs California pageant. Teen and Miss are now in the very capable hands of Crowning Glory Productions, which are ran by the amazing Gushwa family)!

Eddie's speech was about a woman he encountered at Kentucky Fried Chicken many years ago and a powerful statement that she made to the cashier when he questioned her large order: "you don't know my life!" It's true, he didn't know her life, and in Eddie's speech he reminded us that prior to judging someone we should remember that the very person you are judging  is likely masking something that you can't see from the exterior. After his speech there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The international pageant is lucky to have such an inspirational person in their court;  Eddie's message made a significant and profound  impact on many of our lives.

Miss International, day #2. Part one.

Tuesday was my favorite day of my Miss International experience. We started out at the John Hancock Observatory where we took an elevator up 1,030 feet to gain a 360 degree view of Chicago. What a neat experience!
Shortly after we re-boarded our buses and headed to the Lincoln Park Zoo where I was fortunate to have joined a great group of girls for conversation, awesome animal sightings, and tons of photos.

Next was my favorite part; we joined a group of children for lunch at the Boys and Girls club.

I was matched with two intelligent, beautiful, and articulate 6 year old twins and an 11 year-old (going on 20!) little girl who stole my heart. Of course it was fun to take photos with the stunning blond hair, blue eyed identical twins who spoke Russian, but the 11 year old reminded me of why I am so passionate about youth mentoring. At first she was very standoffish and had a tough shell to break through, but once I did I knew that she might be one of the reasons that I was on this journey. A very wise person, and pageant coach, once said to me, "there might be only one person, or one reason, that you were placed in this pageant because of. Perhaps you were meant to touch just one life, but in a very profound way... honor that role!" Maybe SHE was my 'one person'... maybe not, but either way I am confident that her and I shared a meal with conversation that will forever live in my heart as one of the most significant I've ever had. She was wise beyond her years and upon meeting her I got the sense that she viewed us 'pageant girls' as people from a different world, one very far from her own reality. I noticed that she had little interest in joining in on the arts/crafts and conversations that we were set to do prior to our meal. I paid extra attention to her and encouraged her in a soft but insistent manner to let down her guard. In the beginning I told her that we were more alike than she knew but unfortunately I was hardly able to get a word out of her. I asked her if she would like to try my sash on and she refused...which I expected; I would have done the same at her age.  After about 30 minutes of sharing my story with her and encouraging her to do the same, she leaned in an said, "You are pretty cool. Cooler that I thought you would be. Can I have one of those cards with your picture? And will you sign it for me?" Yesssss! A break through! 

Midway through lunch she tugged on my arm and pulled me in to whisper, "I would actually like to try on that sash. Can we take a photo together?" 

The changing point? While chatting I told her that she reminds me of a little girl that I mentor who was her age. I then told her about my mentor and how she taught my that the challenges I was facing while growing up didn't limit the possibilities of what I could do with my future. I explained to her that I am spending my year as Miss CA Int'l spreading that very message to other children. Her face began to light up when she realized that she and I had more in common than she originally anticipated. I didn't get the opportunity to learn what adversities she faced at home, but what I am sure of is that she realized that while I came from a drug infested home I didn't let that stop me from following my dreams. I truly hope thar our conversation offered her hope for her own future. I pray that she is given a mentor, like my own, that changes her perspective, and ultimately her life. She deserves that! As do all the other children currently facing challenges at home. Will you be that person?? If so, please visit BBBS.org to find out how to become a life-changing mentor to someone just like her. I can promise you that it will be one of the most rewarding roles you will ever hold in your life. 

Interview with KEYT news channel 3

On August 11, 2013 I met with Alys Martinez of KEYT news channel 3 to film an interview about my childhood and how it ultimately led me to Big Brothers Big Sisters. It was a pleasure working with Alys and I was excited about the way the interview turned out. It feels so great to have the support of my community! Lucky girl here! If even just one person who saw this interview was influenced to become a Big (mentor), then it was a success! Thank you KEYT!

Here’s a link to the interview:

http://www.keyt.com/news/pageant-winner-raises-awareness-for-local-atrisk-youth/-/17671600/21425690/-/wf3j1sz/-/index.html

Miss International Pageant, day 1: FLIGHT & ARRIVAL

On Sunday July 21, 2013 I met my directors, Connie and Marty Gushwa, at their home prior to my flight because they graciously offered to drive me to the airport to assist with getting my 4.5 pieces of luggage (4 bags and a crown box!) into baggage check at LAX. Upon arriving I realized just how blessed I was to have them there with me, and the hour-long drive on the way over was exactly what I needed; a last minute pep-talk started the week off perfectly.

Upon boarding my plane I had to climb over a man and woman who were already seated so that I could make it to my third-seat-over window seat… whewww, poor planning on my part... or so I thought!  Five minutes into my flight it became perfectly clear that I was placed in that very cramped window seat for a reason. If you’ve spent more than five seconds with me you know just how much I adore the elderly. The couple that I had the opportunity to sit next to were approximately in their early 70’s and the husband (you won’t believe this!) had recently retired from a long career as a fifth grade teacher! As I am sure you have heard me mention numerous times, my life was powerfully impacted when I was in the fifth grade by my teacher. The influence that my fifth grade teacher had on my life was so profound that youth mentoring has now become a large, and important part of my life. We swapped war stories (literally on his end) and at the end of the six hour flight I felt like I had known him for years. I shared the challenging stories of my past, the teacher that helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and how the two collectively led me to that very plane flight that I was on that day.  While parting ways after exiting the plane he shook my hand with tears in his eyes and said, “I believe in you.” Who knows what exactly he meant with the short but profound sentence, but I can tell you that it was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment as I embarked on a very significant week in my life. Because of people like him, and all the others who have helped me to believe in myself along my journey, I started my week feeling like a winner, and today as I write this, even though I don’t have an over-sized sparkly cap sitting on my head, I STILL feel like a winner.

My directors gave me some great tips on how to manage my insane amount of luggage once I was left to my own devices at O’Hare, and I was proud to have managed efficiently. I then grabbed a taxi and made the 15 mile commute to the hotel where I was warmly welcomed by the hotel staff and was elated to learn that not only did my 4.5 pieces of carry-on luggage make it without issue, but the 33lbs of dresses, steamer and gift for the director that I had mailed via UPS made it as well… what a relief! I spent the afternoon grocery shopping, steaming dresses, unpacking, and mingling with other contestants in the lobby. Great start to a great experience.

The sky is the limit!

On July 8, 2013 I was honored to be invited to speak at Jason’s Retreat, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation in my hometown of Bakersfield, CA. This was by far one of the most moving and significant appearances I’ve made so far throughout my journey in pageantry because Jason’s Retreat is the very place where the road to healing from my childhood adversities began. I spoke to the clients in the very same rehabilitation program that saved my mother’s life; sixteen years ago she made the brave decision to check herself into Jason’s Retreat to heal from her addiction to narcotics. I’m proud to report that my mother (and father!) have been clean and sober since that day and she has worked her way up the corporate ladder and is now the Executive Director of that very program (way to go mom)!!!

I began my speech by sharing some of the grueling details of my parent’s addiction and the turmoil that homelessness, molest, drug raids, hunger pains, and absent parents caused my siblings and I. While sharing some of the most agonizing details I noticed that several grown men had begun to tear up. These details are not unique to my past; these men’s children are currently facing these exact experiences because of the addiction that they are currently trying to heal from. When I shared that I was only between the ages of 5-11 when faced with the demons of my parent’s addiction and that I still remember those years like they were yesterday, I could see in their eyes that it hit home. I think that it was eye-opening to them that their very young children will forever remember the adversities that they are currently facing and that they will make a permanent impact on their futures. When faced with adversity we have one of two options, either we follow in our parents footsteps and continue the vicious cycle as statistics prove a majority of children do, OR we choose to learn from their mistakes and use them as building blocks and learning tools to become stronger. I choose option number 2 and I’m spending my year as Miss California International (and hopefully Miss International come July 27th!) sharing this very message. So many children follow in their parents footsteps because it’s all they’ve ever known; through the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring program I am helping provide children facing the adversities of my past with a positive influence… a mentor. It’s crucial to prove to these children that they ARE worthy and that another option for their future is available; one filled with healthy decisions, great jobs, a loving family, and positive friends… but they first must make the initial crucial decision to stray far away from the unhealthy decisions of their parent’s past. I hope that I am given the opportunity to continue sharing my story about how I took a challenge that I faced and turned it into an opportunity to help other people, on an international level. There is a need for my voice; Big Brothers Big Sister urgently needs more mentors. In the United States alone there are over 100,000 children wait-listed for a mentor. That’s 100,000 children who likely will follow in their parent’s footsteps if they aren’t provided the mentor that they desperately need. Will you be the positive influence that changes the course of just one of these children’s lives? It’s not time consuming, it doesn’t require teaching math equations of spelling words; it merely requires being a stable, encouraging, and positive influence in their life.

I’ve realized that through sharing my story I have the power to heal myself through my own message. For years I was embarrassed and ashamed of my upbringing so I kept it bottled in. Pageantry has allowed me to step out of the limiting insecurities that my childhood created by sharing my story to inspire hope in youth who are currently facing adversity. It’s important that I prove to them that their parent’s faults don’t define them or limit the possibilities of what their futures can hold. With a dream, passion, faith, and perseverance the sky is the limit. The odds were definitely against me…but I beat them, and through the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring program other children facing adversity will too!

Here’s to beating the vicious cycle!

Pictured: my brother, mother, and niece who were present for my speech. Unfortunately due to confidentiality issues I'm unable at this time to post the pictures that I took with the clients. Photo release in the works!