And here we are.
Tonight one girl’s life will change forever.
Could it possibly be me?
Did I stand out enough last night to make the ‘top 10’?
Holy cow…. I’m actually here!
The music starts, we line up in our bubblegum pink Sherri Hill rompers, we hear the cue and take the stage for the final night of competition… the night that Miss International 2013 would be crowned! As the song winds down we take our final pose and then the MC begins calling out the coveted top 10 contestants for both Teen and Miss International. After a couple other contestants are named I FINALLY hear it, “Miss California, Tiffany Allen!” The best part? As I walked to the front of the stage to thank the judges and pose for a picture I look down at the very front row, smack in the center, and see my beautiful family holding up bright pink sparkly letters that spell out “Miss CA” and sporting shirts with my picture that say “Miss California’s Biggest Fan”. My niece is smiling ear-to-ear and is holding up the universal sign language sign for “I love you”. I am the luckiest girl alive. After the remaining finalists are called we exited the stage and RAN (more like sprinted!) to the dressing rooms to prepare for the on-stage interview portion of the competition. I had emotions whirling as I stood in the dressing room in my interview suit, minus some of my new friends. I was overjoyed that I was a finalist, but my heart broke for my new friends and fellow contestants who were now sitting in the audience and were not back stage with me…. where they belonged! The greatest thing happened shortly after though, I started receiving text after text filled with well-wishes from them. They are the definition of class and true friends. I’ve won, with or without that crown.
I took the stage and shared a part of my past with the audience that use to cause me so much shame. I smiled as I walked off stage because I realized at that moment just how far I’ve come; a majority of my growth I owe to pageantry. I’ve won, with or without that crown.
After intermission was over the other contestants were finally able to join us back in the dressing room. I was overcome with gratitude when so many of them surrounded me, rooted for me, wished me well, helped me climb into and zip the dress for my next area of competition, and then helped fluff my hair, put my earrings in, and checked my makeup! Did I mention how wonderful the 2013 Miss International class is?! As I walked away from the dressing room to take the stage again in another area of competition without them, I fought back tears; I was in awe of their grace. Class acts for sure! I’ve won, with or without that crown.
All areas of competition were over and all of us took the stage for the very last time. Luckily my position on stage was directly in front of my family who were sitting in the front row, literally three feet from me. I hardly heard a word that the MCs were saying because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of my amazing family who told me again and again how proud they were, and my 5 year old niece who was still displaying her “I love you” sign. They began calling the runners up and my name was absent from the list. Miss Teen International was called and that left one last name to be said, that which I prayed would be mine for the entire last year. There was a long pause where the new Miss Teen International was crowned and sashed and I took that time to look down at my family one last time. There were six of us still holding our breath, praying that our name would be the next words out of the MC’s mouth. I looked at my older sister who stretched her arms out from side-to-side and mouthed “by a mile!” with a huge, very proud grin on her face. (Have I mentioned that I’ve won, with or without that crown??) And then the moment was here, the name was called, and that name unfortunately wasn’t mine. When I think of that moment I don’t do so with disappointment or sadness; I instead remember the look on my sister’s face with her outstretched arms and am overjoyed by how much she believed in me and my potential. So no, I didn’t win a crown, but I did come from the experience stronger, wiser, healthier, with amazing friends, awesome memories, and a reinforced belief that I have the greatest family in the world.
I won even though I didn’t walk away with the crown.
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