On July 8, 2013 I was honored to be invited to speak at Jason’s Retreat, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation in my hometown of Bakersfield, CA. This was by far one of the most moving and significant appearances I’ve made so far throughout my journey in pageantry because Jason’s Retreat is the very place where the road to healing from my childhood adversities began. I spoke to the clients in the very same rehabilitation program that saved my mother’s life; sixteen years ago she made the brave decision to check herself into Jason’s Retreat to heal from her addiction to narcotics. I’m proud to report that my mother (and father!) have been clean and sober since that day and she has worked her way up the corporate ladder and is now the Executive Director of that very program (way to go mom)!!!
I began my speech by sharing some of the grueling details of my parent’s addiction and the turmoil that homelessness, molest, drug raids, hunger pains, and absent parents caused my siblings and I. While sharing some of the most agonizing details I noticed that several grown men had begun to tear up. These details are not unique to my past; these men’s children are currently facing these exact experiences because of the addiction that they are currently trying to heal from. When I shared that I was only between the ages of 5-11 when faced with the demons of my parent’s addiction and that I still remember those years like they were yesterday, I could see in their eyes that it hit home. I think that it was eye-opening to them that their very young children will forever remember the adversities that they are currently facing and that they will make a permanent impact on their futures. When faced with adversity we have one of two options, either we follow in our parents footsteps and continue the vicious cycle as statistics prove a majority of children do, OR we choose to learn from their mistakes and use them as building blocks and learning tools to become stronger. I choose option number 2 and I’m spending my year as Miss California International (and hopefully Miss International come July 27th!) sharing this very message. So many children follow in their parents footsteps because it’s all they’ve ever known; through the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring program I am helping provide children facing the adversities of my past with a positive influence… a mentor. It’s crucial to prove to these children that they ARE worthy and that another option for their future is available; one filled with healthy decisions, great jobs, a loving family, and positive friends… but they first must make the initial crucial decision to stray far away from the unhealthy decisions of their parent’s past. I hope that I am given the opportunity to continue sharing my story about how I took a challenge that I faced and turned it into an opportunity to help other people, on an international level. There is a need for my voice; Big Brothers Big Sister urgently needs more mentors. In the United States alone there are over 100,000 children wait-listed for a mentor. That’s 100,000 children who likely will follow in their parent’s footsteps if they aren’t provided the mentor that they desperately need. Will you be the positive influence that changes the course of just one of these children’s lives? It’s not time consuming, it doesn’t require teaching math equations of spelling words; it merely requires being a stable, encouraging, and positive influence in their life.
I’ve realized that through sharing my story I have the power to heal myself through my own message. For years I was embarrassed and ashamed of my upbringing so I kept it bottled in. Pageantry has allowed me to step out of the limiting insecurities that my childhood created by sharing my story to inspire hope in youth who are currently facing adversity. It’s important that I prove to them that their parent’s faults don’t define them or limit the possibilities of what their futures can hold. With a dream, passion, faith, and perseverance the sky is the limit. The odds were definitely against me…but I beat them, and through the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring program other children facing adversity will too!
Here’s to beating the vicious cycle!
Pictured: my brother, mother, and niece who were present for my speech. Unfortunately due to confidentiality issues I'm unable at this time to post the pictures that I took with the clients. Photo release in the works!
